Accommodation

This year I became an island
Small, isolated and non-descript
The natives are liberal
But no more than is acceptable to you
Their opinions and culture are whatever yours is
If it means that we get along
And if you want, you can call it an alliance
But it isn’t honest

I am not what I used to be
And this is not who I am
From no angle am I truly reflected in you
That soulful reflection
Wholly unspoken yet agreed beyond doubt
Permission for a true opinion
The insult that would never require an apology
We don’t have that
You and me

And I couldn’t raid your music collection, your library or your fridge without your say so

I am pretentious here
Our minds are parallel
I watch what I say
In case I offend you or contradict you
Because truth be told, I will only ever tolerate you
I am not interested in your point of view
Or how you grew up better than I did
Did you?

I talk for its own sake these days
And I search for a thing to say that might interest you
Because our silences are not comfortable
Our laughter is empathetic
Not simultaneous, subconscious, off-beat and spontaneous
These days I explain the joke after I’ve laughed alone
And my quotes
Though they have a history and are from the heart
Even if I explained
Would mean nothing to you
But if I keep them to myself, they might not lose their value

Your opinion, music, interest, humour
It is not mine
And this inoffensive, bland and noncommittal middle ground that I have backed myself into
Feels like no more than a temporary situation
Hollow, borrowed, fake
Your blissful ignorance
And my mistake